Tidbits of Us

I am the wife of an amazing man, seeking hard after God's will for his family, and the mother of 3 beautiful little girls and a 4th baby lost in pregnancy, who all pull at my heartstrings continually. Life has been a whirlwind since our wedding in 2008, including seminary, adventures in camp ministry, missions in Kosovo, and countless moves and God's fingerprints are throughout it all. We are blessed and encouraged that He is equipping us continually for the ministry ahead and pray we are great stewards to all he has entrusted to us, in family, friends, ministry, finances, and of course, the gospel.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

three. point. one.

Miles that is. Three point one miles. I can do this right??

It's chili. Not too bad though. I love that my father-in-law's car has working heat. Stupid knob in ours broke over a year ago, and we thought, who needs it living in Texas and Florida, right? Right. Gosh I'm nervous. It doesn't make sense though. I'm really just being dumb. Really dumb. People run more then this every day... for fun. But I need this. I just do. I need an accomplishment more then the dishes or changing a days worth of diapers. Couldn't tell you who for other then me of course.

Gosh, I'm really a little jumpy in my stomach. This is so dumb.

I'm doing good. Enough time for breakfast from Burger King. Some OJ and sausage, egg and cheese crissont. Oh theirs is so much better then Mcd's. Better not eat too much of it though. The OJ hits the spot! The lady at the window wants me to have a nice day... too bad she has no clue I'm about to go torture myself for almost 40 minutes. Man, I hope I can do it in 40 minutes. I hope I can do this without walking.

Lord, if you could just give me this one. Please.

Getting close... gosh, their are lots of people already. He's loud and obnoxious... really?? He drove here from Miami? For this? Yep, he's going to make sure everyone knows it... oh, and off comes his shirt. I'll steer clear of him for sure. Yep, I'm preregistered. Goody bag in hand... sad day. Just a bunch of fliers from sponsors. Could have at least thrown in a Gatorade or something. Unless theirs something I don't know about how dumb it is to run after drinking Gatorade. Gosh, I'm so lame.

Wait, oh, they know me... oh gosh. Don't act dumb or nervous or divulge too much info about how your not going to be able to run this whole thing like a wimp and then your going to cry about it. To late. I need to learn how to filter. Sure I'll run with you... but I won't be able to keep up and I'll simply feel embarrassed, but I did warn them my pace was super slow.

stretch. walk. kill time. pet the pretty golden lab.

There's a six year old boy with his dad. How sweet is that. He's going to remember this forever. And he's going to run faster then me.

Lining up... yep, you said all of that in the three emails you sent. Find the middle area. Don't go to the front, you'll just embarrass yourself. Don't go to the back, you'll set yourself up for failure. Nod to the other girls, set up your music... he said go... don't you dare cross that line until your already jogging.

Every. Step. Must. Be. At. A. Jog.... well at least I started it the way I wanted to.

And look, they are already faster paced then me... that's ok. Don't get caught up in their pace. You've got yours memorized. You know what your breath sounds like. You know what your feet sound like. You know what your hips and knees and ankles and feet feel like at your pace. You've got yourself memorized... stick with it. Don't get caught up in the rush. You've got this. Listen to the words. I love this song. Just sing to it in your head. Your starting off great!

It's beautiful. My chill is almost gone. Just moving. Double check sounds of my breathing... yep. I'm still on my usual pace. Nice.

Gosh, look at their heads bobbing over the bushes way up there around the bend. they are so fast. That's just insane. There's the boy with his dad. Look at him run circles around his dad as if this is nothing! I bet he will get a good nap when he gets home. Maybe I should start my girls off running that young. Maybe. That's if I stick with this... few... this. is. getting....

One mile. done. Boys with water... no, I don't want to even try to grab a cup. I'm good. Make sure to say thank you. Keep on trucking.

Right turn. There's already people on the other side of the street headed up the last mile. She's waving to one. No, two. Take out headphones... I think she's talking to me. Her son! Wow, he's in the lead. Her husband right behind him. How did she end up all the way back here with me. She's so encouraging. She's right. Of course I'm not going to stop jogging. I've got this.

I'm actually going to pass someone. Such a dear old man. He looks as if he's going to fall over. He can barely stand up straight to run... sweating like crazy. He's doing amazing. I want to give him a hug so bad! Wave, call to him that he's doing great. He's got this. thumbs up. I hope he was encouraged. I hope I helped some.

Cows. Madison would love to see the cows. It's such a pretty morning.

There are the girls I started with on the other side of the road. They are not that far ahead. I know I'm close to the other side of the road. I know I'm close to half.

Few... turning... Ok, Lord, I need my second wind. I need it now. There's a sea of people ahead of me. I know I'm not last, but I'm not far from it. I can't really do this. I know it. I've never done more then 2.5 miles and I've only done that twice... over a week ago! This is ridiculous.

Lord, it's nothing to ask you to give me this. It won't effect anything in the grand scheme of things. I need you to show me your going to give me this. I just do.

Another turn.

I'm past half way. Just listen to the music. Sing it in your head. Watch the birds flying. Listen to your breathing. Still on pace. Nice. That's something. Listen to your feet. Feel your body move. No. Never mind. Don't feel your body. Don't pay attention to the details. Just listen to the music.

Right turn... two miles done. Not bad. But I knew I could do two miles. It's going to get harder from here. How's that second wind coming??

Is that?? Yes, yes, it is! that's my car. That's my hubby! He's driving the rout. Oh, don't tear up now, don't loose it now. You still have so far to go. My baby girl is waving. Blowing a kiss, did she catch it?? Take that energy. Take that moment and keep going. Don't get too excited. Listen to my breathing... yes, I'm still on pace.

Water table... ok nice boy... we'll try this. Hmm... getting close... those runners all took water from the kids on the left... poor guy on the right, just wants to help. Point to him... dang, he's holding out a bottle... no. "Cup". Yes. Just in time. Nice job. Don't forget to say thank you... oh stink! Water, control the water... sip... that's good enough. Dump it and trash the cup... few. Just enough to stop the dry throat.

We've got to be close to 2.5... just have to. There are so many people in front of me. So many I can't even see. So many that are already done as if this was nothing to them. Why can't they see it's not nothing to me. I need to get this. I know there are others behind me. Not many, but there are.

Visualize. I'm right in the middle. Bird's eye view. There are just as many behind me as there are in front. Nice. See, you got this, you can keep up. You're ok. Keep that view. Hang onto it...

Big curve. Yes, I know I'm getting there... wait. I hear a car. They are coming up behind me. My family. I love my family. My girl is waving. My baby is chilling in her car seat, along for the drive. Madison is so excited to see me. I can't wait to hug her.

Keep on running. I know I've hit my max achieved. I'm going to break that today. I know I can.

Lord, Please let me have this.

I see it... It's still far but I see the tent top. Here come the trees lining the street. I'm in the area. I have to be at 3 miles... I just have to... curve. It's not just around the curve after all.

I can't believe this. I'm so close and yet I'm not going to make it.

Music. Breath. Still on pace. But for how long??

Another curve. It's not just around that one either. I'm actually not going to make it. It's never going to be just around the curve is it? This is ridiculous.

Being passed again... wait a minute... it's the old guy!! He must have gotten all warmed up because he's running perfect now. Sweating like a pig, but running like he does this every day! Ha! He probably rolled his eyes at my attempt at encouragement. Now I feel really dumb!

Aching. Can't listen to my body anymore. I'm certain I have a blister on a really odd spot on my foot. Stop listening to your body. Don't feel it. Just listen to your breath. Check. Now just listen to the music. Sing in your head.

There's a guy! wait... that's not where we started. Point one mile left... really?? Still?? I'm so close and I'm actually not going to make it. I've beat my best. But it's not what I set out for. It's not going to satisfy me. I have one tenth of a mile left. One tenth. And I'm not going to be able to do it.

Ok Lord, you've got me this close. I need a second wind. I need something. Show me your going to let me have this.

Visualize. Crossing that line with Aaron and the girls to meet you. I'm going to cry. Why is this so emotional for me?? What in the world? Just picture hugs all around. You've got this. That's the goal.

Your doing it. It's there... it really is around this curve.

There they are! But they are a bit in front of the finish line... Ahhh. I can't just scoop her up. I can't just run into Aaron's arms... She's running with me... my sweet little girl. Such a beautiful smile. She's freaking adorable! She's running with me.

There are the girls. Yep, the ones I couldn't keep pace with... really?? They are coming back for me? Oh wow, they have a much larger pace... oh but it kind of feels good on my hips. Here we go...

Check the clock. 35:35. Yes, under 40 minutes.

Stop, breath. No, walk. Walk it off. Turn around. There's my girl. Scoop her up, bring her to the finish line too. She's so excited to run the race with mommy. Hugs. Smiles. Kisses. My baby in my husbands arms, smiling and kicking at the sight of me. He's proud of me.

There's the mom with the campion son. She knew I could do it too.

I've accomplished it. Thank you, Lord. You gave it to me. You let me have it. Such an insignificant thing, but you decided I could have it. Thank you.

Juice table. and they have bananas. God is good.
Now to get home and prep our Thanksgiving dinner. And what a good day for it.


  1. this is awesome...I run/walk my first 5k Thanksgiving morning with my two sons and a friend and her family...my only goal is to at least run part of it...I am on week seven of the C25K...so I am not expecting to run the whole thing...I am excited to be running with my boys...one is a half marathon runner and one does not run...they are 24 and 28 and oh yes I am 59...congratulations on your finish...Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family...

    1. I'll be praying for your run!! I know you'll be more encouraged then you think to have them all with you. I have yet to see why running marathons, or half marathons, or even considering a 10K would be "fun", but I know it's good for me. I'll get better eventually. :) Keep up the good work! I know the C25K got tough for me around week 6 and on, but once your doing 25 minutes a few times in a row you'll see a lot of progress! Just maybe don't do what I did and only get to 28 minutes and then run a full 5K... I did it, but wasn't fully ready for that big of a jump all of the sudden!