A Delight that's been Reborn

God has been so great to us! Aaron has a job he absolutely loves which also allows me to stay home with Madison, another blessing in and of herself, students and friends that love and care for our family, and a gentleness as he brings us through 6 months of this major life transition.

Most recently, as most know by now, we found out our second child is another little girl! We were both extremely surprised by this, since we both expected a boy, although, for no real reasons other then "intuition". It is a little weird knowing for this pregnancy, a boy has been "eliminated". Although we knew one of the two genders would have to be. We are very excited to have two sweet little girls running around, especially Aaron! He loves imagining what it will be like having TWO "daddy's girls".

We are naming her Eden Rene', which was the very hard choice we chose between when naming Madison. I'm pretty excited I get to use both names now! Eden is simply a beautiful name that means "delight", while Rene' is my middle name and means "Reborn". So, I guess it becomes something like "A delight reborn" or "A delight that's been reborn".

Aaron's students wanted to be the ones to reveal the gender to us, so anxiously we had the nurse write it down and seal it in and envelope, which we handed over to Aaron's coworker, Meredeth. Later that night they had a great production for us, where they re-enacted the Circle of Life song from the Lion King. It was the most hilarious gender reveal I have ever heard of happening! They acted out all the animals, and of course there was "Rafiki" carrying the basket with a baby. In the end they held up the baby, wrapped in a blanket, and pulled it off to reveal a baby dressed in girl clothes, however, the baby was dropped with the blanket in the process, causing us to die laughing as we discovered our great surprise! It was such a wonderful way to have the students want to be involved in this step in our lives. It really meant a lot to us that they cared that much to create this amazing routine. They ended up with an audience of about 15 other staff who had heard they had something big planned and wanted to come watch. It truly was a celebration! I can't wait to share the story with Eden one day!

Madison is growing and changing almost constantly. It is a crazy concept to me that at 17 months old, she is so independent, fearless, outgoing, even bold. She is truly her mother's child, which I pray she uses those characteristics in a much more God honoring way then I did growing up. I was also my father's daughter when it came to characteristics like this, and I can only imagine now how he felt, raising a small clone of himself. Now I know why we butted heads so much in my teen years, as well as held fast as best friends. I cringe knowing that in her mind, I will be an enemy for a while. It seems to happen with most girls and their moms, but being so similar in personality, I feel as though the teen years will be a mix of the extremes from best friends to enemies, without much middle ground between. I did it to my father, and I can already see the similarities. However, I have no doubt in the long run this will be God's way of growing each of us into his character, and of course, one day, just like my dad and me, she will have a child of her own, just like her!! (I don't say this as the parent's curse, but as the blessing it was to me to have my father, and my daughter.)

As far as skills, Madison's vocabulary isn't english, but I've discovered several "words" she always uses for the same thing. And even though we continue to use the correct words, she replies with her own little language. I'm grateful for finally picking up on it! Communication is getting so much easier! I've also discovered a pretty good ability of hers for following simple directions. I hadn't really tried to use them with her until recently, and was pleasantly surprised when she followed them. I'm not sure if she may have been able to do this sooner, but it's another great discovery. With it, however, has come the discovery that she knows the word "no" in context, either verbally or shaking her head. She will definitely let you know if she doesn't want to do what you have asked, which isn't always ok, depending on the request of course. I still feel extremely unequipped and unsure of discipline for tantrums and bad actions. I think I'm learning a little as I go, but I'm constantly running into walls and feeling unproductive, leaving me to give up, which I try not to, but the feeling of helplessness or failure in teaching my child can be a constant feeling on some days, leaving a frustrated mommy and daughter when daddy gets home. Not such a good thing.

Aaron's students are going through their "phases", which is fun and exhausting to watch! Everything was pleasant and perfect for about a month, and then came the realization that they are stuck with all these personalities for 8 more months! A lot of the surface getting along began to dwindle as personalities clashed when they didn't feel like putting up with little quirks of others. For the most part they have worked through this and are now learning to live honestly as well as sacrificially together. Of course, this isn't smooth or perfect and probably won't ever be for some of them, but they are doing well. The retreat season has slowed down for them and classes have picked up, which both they and Aaron love. We've had some great experiences thus far, but this is already getting long, so I encourage you to check out the walkabout blog, which has a link at the top of this page. You can find videos and blogs from the students and Aaron, and keep involved in how their journey is going.

Book Review: Thank you, God, for Blessing Me

Max Lucado has a great knack for speaking to adults and children alike. His newer book, Thank you, God, for Blessing Me, is no exception. It's a sweet little book that helps remind children to thank God for all the daily things in life. From friends, family, food, everything around him, and even his "little buggy feat". One of my favorite pages in this rhyming board book asks God to help him be kind, obey and remember to say thank you. The pictures and colors are wonderful for young children, and I enjoy them myself as well! It's the perfect size for my child to hold and flip through the wonderfully illustrated pages as we read together and are both reminded to thank God for each blessing around us, big and small. I would recommend this book for children just starting to listen to parents read to them through early elementary.

This book was provided to me by booksneeze.com, and I was not required to give a positive review.

toddler + pregnant = Bad mommy... seriously??

Let me just start by saying baby number two has been an experience already. I know it's nowhere near as rough as many moms I know, but compared to Madison, who only gave me two weeks of nausea and only after lunch, this one is rough. Combine it with parenting a toddler when 8 hours of sleep still leaves you feeling sleep deprived (What is up with that pregnancy symptom, seriously!!), and you have some issues!

The first three months of Madison's life in my arms instead of in my belly, were full of miracles and amazing moments I will cherish forever. However, and I think every mom will admit at to this at some point, it also came with lots of self proclaimed "I'm such a bad mom" moments. Usually involving many tears with it. I have an amazingly wonderful husband who stood beside me and loved me through each moment, helping me to see I was doing the absolute best as we went along. And as motherhood finally settled into a routine and balance, as well as my hormones, I became a confident mommy.

Almost 16 months later I find my mornings filled with rolling on the floor, spending my energy and filling my ears with laughs and giggles that come from deep within her toes. We'd have long talks in an alien language only she could interpret, and as any good mommy would, encouraged the real words for things she desired. She comes bouncing out of her bedroom excitedly, holding out a book as far as she possibly can, immediately needing to sit in my lap and giggling with anticipation every time we opened the first page of a book we have already read hundreds of times before.

But now I find myself sitting here, counting the hours from waking up until her and MY afternoon nap time, usually begun with a prayer that this will be one of those days she sleeps the rare three hours. Now I pass the morning resting and watch her play with the "white noise" of Dora, Little Einsteins, or even Bubble Guppies filling the background. First she played continuously, getting slightly distracted by a song now and then. Now I find her sitting mesmerized for entire episodes of Dora. Either cuddling with me or finding a cozy spot to lay or sit as she stares at the moving characters on the TV. Conversations are fewer, and as she gets use to "lazy mommy" she begins to play much more independently. Even "reading" her books more to herself. I try to scrounge up enough energy each day for a good romp on the floor or walk to the volleyball court to play in the sand. But they are short lived times, as baby number two begins to rebuttal by draining my energy supply or sensing a smell that sends my stomach upside down for the next hour. I know both these little gifts need me, the problem is, they need me in complete opposite ways, and I have no clue how to get through the morning other then watching the clock.

This, the "lazy morning mommy", has brought with it more of the guilt of "bad mommy", as I wait for the morning pill to kick in and settle my stomach enough to make it through lunch, which we will follow with our naps and somehow, an extra bit of energy on most of the days to get through the evening much easier. I know I'm not the first woman to be pregnant while having a toddler around the house, and I know I'm not really a bad mom. However, I am certain this is another phase which will pass, but eventually return again and again and again. I'm ready to acknowledge that I will always have reasons to feel like a bad mommy, or bad wife, as I watch my husband take on much more responsibility at home while I lay there telling myself it's ok because I'm growing a baby inside. I need more rest right now. But I don't think I'll ever be fully ready when the first hit from the beginning of another "bad mommy" phase smacks me in the face. As I'm sure all good mommies are not.

I will say, at 12 1/2 weeks pregnant, this whole thing has exactly one week until we are in the second trimester and it is no longer acceptable around here. I just hope I have the energy to back that up....

Book review time... & this one's NOT recommended

In my opinion: a lack of Biblical accuracy on heaven and a personal political statement

Safely Home by Randy Alcorn is a fictional novel based on old roommates going very separate ways for 20 years, until meeting up in China, one character’s home county. This story made up most of the book and is a needed reminder of the persecution Christians face all around the world, and the spiritual battle constantly going on which is so often easy to forget, especial as complacent American Christians who are not forced to stand up for their faith daily. On the other hand, there is a strong and constant charismatic feel throughout and I felt the last half of the book he was trying to throw in as many moral and human rights issues he could find with China, to make his own personal political statement through this book, not that I disagree with him, but it began to feel like personal venting in novel form. Also, throughout the book there are past family members and celestial beings looking down from “heaven”, watching, listening, and discussing things going on to their family below, then, as one characters dies he is allowed to see his living family (although they can’t see him) for his final goodbye. These concepts have always bothered me, considering they are not biblical. When depicting heaven, the author gives the sense that it’s inhabitants, and the Lord Himself are completely consumed by death of Martyrs and judgment of those persecuting them. Lots of wonderful scripture is used, however, my issue was with this being the only thing consuming those in heaven, including God Himself. Further, when the martyr dies near the end, his entrance into heaven is pictured mostly about himself. It goes on about his rewards, experiences, everyone has waited for him, and a great celebration in his honor of his perseverance on earth. I don’t believe heaven will strictly be a praise and worship service, but I don’t think it will be all about our achievements for the Kingdom either. Yes, we will be rewarded, but we will give our jewels and crowns back to the King Himself. I know this is a fictional novel, but considering the author’s best selling book is about and titled Heaven, I was surprised by the concept of heaven he portrayed. I almost want to read the other book of his, just to see what he said about heaven compared to this book. I didn't hate this book, but I didn't like it either. Thus, two stars. I received a complimentary copy of this book from Tyndale House Publishers as a blogger book review and was not required to give a positive review.

If ANYONE knows anything about his book Heaven, and it's nothing like this, I'm curious, let me know!