2013

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Tidbits of Us

I am the wife of an amazing man, seeking hard after God's will for his family, and the mother of 3 beautiful little girls and a 4th baby lost in pregnancy, who all pull at my heartstrings continually. Life has been a whirlwind since our wedding in 2008, including seminary, adventures in camp ministry, missions in Kosovo, and countless moves and God's fingerprints are throughout it all. We are blessed and encouraged that He is equipping us continually for the ministry ahead and pray we are great stewards to all he has entrusted to us, in family, friends, ministry, finances, and of course, the gospel.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

AMAZING recipe! minimal ingredients, prep and dishes!!



So if you've read my 30 by 30 list, you know I'm trying to learn a ton of new recipes. If you know me, I am a creature of habit when it comes to food, but my wonderful husband is NOT! And, as I think of a LIFETIME with him, and how we have NO fast food, takeout, or grocery stores near us in Texas, I need to venture out a little. So, the last time I went grocery shopping I pulled out a few favorite cookbooks and built every meal on the shopping list around brand new recipes. Most have turned out ok, but this one was sooooo good, we ate it Monday, and then again today (Wednesday)! So I thought I would share it with anyone willing to read what I have to say... so I can give a little back! : ) If you try it, let me know how it goes!!

This recipe has about 30 minutes prep time, which is pretty simple stuff, but you will be getting raw meat on your hands for sure! All ingredients should be right there in your home pretty regularly, except leeks, which are amazingly cheap and come in bundles of three, and I only needed two. And of course the meat. This may be annoying, but I figured as the recipe goes on, I will add my little tidbits or tweeks on the few things I did, and of course, I have pictures of this beautiful food!!

Added Note from experience: we had the meat tonight that I comment on saying it was just a thing of "flat" beef that I found, and though still good, the meat we used from the roast was much better. I just bought some sort of roast (specific, I know) and cut it into thin slices, having about six or 7 rolls in the end. And, tonight we used a thai red pepper sauce type stuff (A.K.A. sweet and sour sauce) and it was an amazing compliment to the meat!! And don't overcook the meat, make sure it's at least a little tender.

HERBED BEEF PINWHEELS
Preheat oven to 350
serves 4
prep time 30 min. cook time 1 1/2 hours.

Nutritional facts per serving:
355 cal., 15 grams total fat (4 grams saturated), 53 mg. chol., 722 mg. sodium, 30 g. carbo., 4 g. fiber, 25 g. protein, Daily values: 7% vit. C, 6% calcium, 27% iron.

Ingredients:
1 to 1 1/4 pound beef flank steak (I couldn't find this specifically. the first time I made it I just got a roast and cut it into thin slices and it turned out wonderful. The second time I found Beef top roast. I just looked for a big thin piece of flat beef. I then put it between two pieces of wax paper and used a rolling pin to thin it out a little more... worked wonderfully and easily.)
2 Tablespoons olive oil
2 medium leeks
(in the produce section and look like large green onions. Usually in bundles of three.)
2 cloves garlic, minced
(I just used garlic powder since we always have it, and just used an amount that looked like the amount of garlic we like on stuff.)
3 Tablespoons basil
(you can used fresh snipped basil if you'd like, but we have the seasoning on hand, so I used that. Turned out fine.)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
2 yukon gold potatoes
(I just used red potatoes. We like them better)
1 medium to large onion
1 14 1/2 oz. can diced tomatoes with basil, oregano, and garlic
(walmart brand just says seasoned tomatoes.)
Twine of some sort
(this is to tie the meat and will be put in the oven. I used some craft twine that I had from old school craft supplies. Looks like hemp and kids use it for bracelets.)

Directions: I've put these in the basic, easiest order of completion (that I found)

1. Cut a few feet of twine and place in bowl of water to soak during prep. Later you will cut this into varied lengths to tie around meat.

2. Prepare meat (rolling it thin if needed) by making shallow parallel cuts about an inch apart along the meat. Then do in the opposite direction to create diamond shapes over the meat. Do this to both sides of meat. (helps when rolling the meat.)

3. Cut onions into thin wedges and potatoes into wedges or chunks that are your preferred size. place in a 2 quart rectangular baking dish.

4. Cut leeks. (I have pictures included, but I didn't know how to do this so I looked online at some videos.) Cut off the base and the "leafy" stuff on the leak. You will use the stalk part. Rinse well and slice in half long ways. hold it together so the layers don't fall apart. Slice long ways one more time so it's in quarter. Then cut thin strips going from one end to other. (not sure how to really describe this.) You will have a bunch of skinny things that look like fingernails as the layers fall apart as you cut. (see picture)


5. heat 1 tablespoon oil in medium skillet. Add leeks and garlic, Stirring occasionally, cook 3-5 minutes until leeks are tender. Add basil, salt and pepper. Mix and remove from heat.

6. Spread leek mixture evenly on one side of steak. Starting at shorter end, tightly roll meat into tight spiral and tie string on each end to hold together. Depending on how long your roll is, you may want to tie in the middle as well.






7. In same skillet, heat remaining 1 tablespoon of oil over medium heat. Brown meat on all sides by slowly rolling it in hot skillet. (this also lets all the goodies still stuck to the skillet get on the meat as well.... yum.) Transfer meat to baking dish with potatoes and onions. You can put it on top of them, or make room for the meat between. You can also wait to put the meat in the dish first and just toss potatoes and onions on top.

8. Pour undrained tomatoes over beef and vegetables. (I don't like cooked tomatoes much, so I didn't use the whole can and may leave them out next time around to see if it changes flavor much.)



9. Bake uncovered at 35o for about 1 1/4 hours to 1 1/2 hours or until beef is tender. Remove the string and cut meat into serving size pieces and serve with potatoes and onions.



To prepare ahead:
Score and pound meat. Prepare leek filling and spread on meat. Roll up ad tie but do not brown meat. Wrap tightly in plastic wrap and place in refrigerator for up to 24 hours. To cook, brown meat roll in hot oil in skillet. Transfer meat to baking dish with vegetables and bake as directed above.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Being a mommy is NOT for the faint of heart.

If there is anything I have learned in this, being a new mommy can be rough. I'd like to think right now we are in the golden stage of "baby", and I'm loving it. Her personality, quirks, desire to "fake" for attention or a funny face from mommy and daddy, and still her need for mommy's cuddles above everyone else is just about too much for my little heartstrings to take. But the last 9 and a half months have been a whirlwind in this life change.

Our first three months were exhausting, and if you have talked to me on this topic, you know how I feel about the first three months with a new baby! Looking back I can't help but think how it really wasn't too bad, listing the things we dealt with. But the emotional toll it was for me seems incredible. I hate to say I was "depressed", because that carries with it the stigma of post pardome depression and the stories that make national news. You know the ones I am talking about. It also gives a sense of defeat for me. I wanted to tackle this with everything I had, and come out on the other side shining. The one people talk about saying, "You'd never even know she just had a baby" or "I hope it's that easy for me". Instead, I found I had nothing left in the midst of it all, counting down days until I knew it was suppose to get "better". Let me clarify, it wasn't my sweet little baby, it was the sleep deprivation, the unavailable first pediatrician, the thrush that wasn't thrush, the unwillingness to nurse, issues with my body healing, the guilt of using a bottle, the incredible pain I constantly had in my chest: during nursing and between, the sleep deprivation, the formula debate, more guilt, the harder efforts to tackle the thrush that ended up not really existing, sleep deprivation, the bad mommy/bad wife guilt, I could probably go on, but I will save you the time.

When I think of having a second, I am not fazed by the months of wearing pregnancy. Bring on the hours of another drug free, bloody scream filled labor. But those first three months....

I guess I've had all of this inside me and just needed to get it out. I guess to process or "debreaf" if you will. It was really a big deal and took a lot from me. Not the type of taking that you can't get back, but the type that lets you see who you really are when your stripped down. Where do you find your strength, who is your core support, are you willing to ask for help from those constantly offering it, without feeling like a failure or an inconvenience? Are you willing to go out or talk to others without putting on that "I'm completely put together 24/7" mask. And then, putting aside the guilt you have with yourself. To stop beating yourself up because you don't have it all under control. That's hard for me.

Some say being a mom is the hardest thing you will ever do... I don't disagree, but I would revamp it a little. I think it comes in stages, because right now, my little girl is the sweetest, thing I could have in my day. Other then my amazing husband of course.

That feels good to get off my chest. Let's move on.

Monday, March 21, 2011

I'm exhausted...

It's been a long end of winter into spring, and it's beginning to look like hope of semi-warm weather sticking around for a little bit. Madison has been sick since February 3rd (that's 6 1/2 weeks) with about 10 days healthy broken up in two 5 day stretches throughout. We've been to the doctor 8 times as of today. It seems her pattern is to get sick, then get worse when the odds are against it, and finally, slowly recover, only to get sick five days later... and we are now starting the third cycle of this theme. Not to mention throwing all this Texas stuff right in the middle. God has a weird way of giving us things, and I'm just exhausted.

Preparations for Texas are going well though. We've booked the budget truck (which, once again is a great amount cheaper then Uhaul wants) and also got a plane ticket for Maddie and I. We just don't see an 18 hour drive going well with as mobile as she wants to be, and then adding diaper changes, feedings, cleaning bottles... it would take 3 days! I will be sad to have Aaron leave first, letting us wait a few days, but I know it's the best way to do it, and it saves me from so much driving! :)

We did have an amazing weekend though!! I've been wanting to take Madison to the kiddie pool on campus, and we bought her the cutest swimsuit. She had so much fun! She wanted to splash the entire time. On Saturday we went with some wonderful friends to Toast on Market for breakfast. It's my favorite place in Louisville. I've made Aaron promise to take me back at least one more time before we go, but hoping for a few more. Wonderful Bacon and fancy coffee drinks!! We went to the zoo after and spent 4 hours going to just about everything possible there. It was a lot of fun and Maddie was extremely cooperative, even though we skipped the morning and most of afternoon nap. She slept good when we got home though, and that night. Looking at the next 8 weeks ahead, we have some busy weekends ahead, trying to squeeze everything in that we need and want to. Especially Aaron, who has a good fishing trip coming up, and a trip to Colorado one weekend for his new job. There's just so much. It was really nice to have a great, family focused weekend. Especially since we don't know how much of that intentional time we will be able to have before we move. We have some fun pictures to share though!






Wednesday, March 16, 2011

The beginings of Transition to our new mission field

I've been known as a slow transitioner... if that's a word. When dinner is done and Aaron's ready to move on, I like to sit just a few more minutes. When it's time to get out of bed for the morning or from a nap, I enjoy just laying there awake for a little bit. I enjoy long conversing goodbyes most of the time, and am slow to change something I'm doing in my day. However, big transitions I jump at. I am not sure why, but I get prepared early and am anxious to get the show on the road. It comes off sometimes as not caring to those I may be leaving for a while, but really, I'm just not good at goodbyes. Not in the sense I avoid them, but I'm just excited and prepared for what's next, and when I get to whatever that is and my daily routine begins to be effected as the dust settles, I then begin to realize I miss people and certain things. It's just how I'm wired. I have a goal for this big transition... don't do that! I want to enjoy the little bits around and the friends I have made instead of filling my time with preparations and playing the waiting game anxiously for mid May. I want to be a slow transitioner this time. Not only will it help me get little goodbyes and important time with others, but hopefully it will keep me from feeling tired of waiting and counting days as well.

So, what is this big transition, for those who don't know? The past three-ish years, school years anyway, we have been living in Louisville, KY for Aaron to attend Southern Seminary. It's been good here. Not my favorite place to live, but we've made some good friends and enjoyed some great fellowships. It's been a great place to start a family and figure out the first few years of being married. (It's crazy to think we will have been married for 3 years in just a few months, and have known each other for 6!!) Aaron has been mixed some on what he wants to do. He wants to teach but has a great heart for discipleship and camp ministry. He came to seminary, but doesn't want to be a pastor, which is the main trend of students here. We worked at a new camp in summer of 09 where he was over the college staff, leading bible studies, discipleship, and just being there when they needed someone to help with campers or personal stuff. He LOVED it. Of course, we didn't know at the time, that experience was just another bread crumb for the ministry God was preparing our family for. God has "finally" chosen to show my husband what that ministry is. Aaron was chosen to be the new Walkabout director for Camp Eagle in Rocksprings, Texas. For 9 months he will lead, disciple and teach college students. They will receive college credit for the course, which happens to be through Aaron's undergrad school in Arkansas. They will have "exposure" trips to do ministry, adventure trips, classes and fellowship. All of this is an amazing combination of Aaron's passions, and although I share the same passions, they are a little different. My passions are more for the supporting role and the open home for ministry. God truly has catered to us in this "mission field" he has prepared for us. We are extremely blessed.

Of course there is no telling how long God will have us there, but we are finally able to put down some roots, and speaking of, I can finally have a flower garden and a veggie garden! We will have a front porch with the most amazing view, and more stars visible at night then I really ever considered possible! Not to mention the deer around! We have a cute 3 bedroom, 2 bath home waiting just for us, and Madison will have an amazing place to grow up with so many adventures available! I think that's part of my favorite thing about it. It will be so easy for her to play and use her imagination. We are literally in the middle of nowhere, 70 miles from walmart, and she has a huge playground just waiting for her! Of course, there will be much more to share in all of this. We have two months before we go, and then the real fun of transitions will begin!